Cleaning out the DVR

Okay, so between last Friday through yesterday (Monday), I went on a regular ol’ DVR-watchin’ tear. I had a gang of stuff recorded I decided I better get to, or risk not having room for some of my upcoming scheduled recordings.

Stuff I watched:
- TV: Highs In The ’90s (Fuse)
- Movie: The Boys And Girls Guide To Getting Down
- Movie: The Truth About Cats And Dogs
- Movie: Next
- TV: So You Think You Can Dance (Fox)
- TV: USA Basketball: Road To Redemption (ESPN2/NBATV)
- TV: My Boys (TBS)
- Movie: Lucky Number Slevin

Here’s the rundown:

Highs In The ’90s: ’90s music? I’m so there. It was a top-20 countdown of music videos on Fuse from musicians from the ’90s who liked alcohol, weed, and/or probably huffing Lysol. I think that was just about all of them, so the countdown tried to stick with the artists who had reputations for substance use and/or abuse, like Scott Wieland (STP) Courtney Love (Hole), Cypress Hill, and Snoop Dogg. As these countdowns tend to be, it was fairly debatable; for one thing, this ’90s countdown included “Because I Got High” by Afroman, from 2000.

Highlights included the some of my favorite ’90s videos/songs: “Nuthin’ But A G Thang” by Dr. Dre/Snoop Dogg, “Who Am I (What’s My Name)” by Snoop Dogg, “Woo Ha! (Got You All In Check)” by Busta Rhymes, “Fantastic Voyage” by Coolio, “Jump Around” by House of Pain, “Tha Crossroads” by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, and “All Mixed” Up by 311. Geez, you’d think I’d have actually used drugs at least once in my life judging by the music I listen to. Lowlights included “Been Caught Stealing” by Jane’s Addiction (I’ve always frickin’ hated that song) and the fact that the countdown was hosted by Jason Mewes, aka Jay of “Jay and Silent Bob” fame. He’s kinda funny sometimes, but was just grating as a countdown host.

Watching this countdown brought me back to the good ol’ days: not the days when I would get high (again: me = non-drug user), but rather the days when music video channels showed music videos, hip hop was actually worth listening to, and I had nary a care in the world.

—

As an aside, Snoop Dogg’s old videos had some of the funniest lines ever in music videos.

Girl: You better hurry up, baby…
Snoop: Why’s that?
Girl: Cuz my father’s gonna be home soon, and you know he don’t like dogs.
Snoop: Oh, is that right?
Girl: But I ain’t tryin’ to hear what he sayin’, cuz you know I love you, right baby?
Snoop: You don’t love me. You just love my doggystyle…

Effin’ hilarious. Brilliantly hilarious.

***

The Boys And Girls Guide To Getting Down: Very tongue-in-cheek and sorta informative of how to do things (and probably more importantly: how not to do things) if you’re into (or want to be into) drugs, alcohol, and the whole party scene. I took notes the whole time and put them into my personal “How to be streetwise” handbook, which mainly includes stuff I’ve learned from rap songs, like E-40’s nice little tidbit: “Never tell a b**** all your business / cuz one day she might be an eyewitness.” That right there’s real food for thought! Haha, okay maybe not…

***

The Truth About Cats And Dogs: If I watch a chick flick, it usually means all the planets and the stars have lined up just right. This one had been sitting in my DVR for just over three months. I’m not really sure what to make of this movie. It’s kinda old-ish now, and in the time since it originally came out, I’ve grown to be annoyed with Janeane Garafolo, and I’m used to seeing Uma Thurman play smarter and/or more confident and/or more intimidating characters. I had to forget those things to watch this.

According to my channel guide, it supposedly got three stars. I don’t know how it even got that many; I didn’t really feel any of what I think the movie was trying to convey, like any type of jealousy Garafolo I think was supposed to have toward Uma. I just thought she was cynical and was trying to act jealous that Uma liked the guy she did. Also, usually I side with the guys in a chick flick — cuz, well, I’m a guy — especially when women play some sort of trick (even unintentionally) on the guy. Not this one. I came away feeling like the dude was a prick, and not justified, by how he reacted when he realized he thought Uma was Garafolo.

Also, I was just left feeling preached at, like, as a guy, I’m supposed to hate myself for ever being attracted to attractive women. In seriousness, I’m about well more than just looks in a woman, and they certainly aren’t the end-all, be-all, or even a necessity. However, that said, I do appreciate a good-looking woman and/or a woman who tries. Sorry.

***

Next: I liked the idea of the movie — I wish I could see two minutes into the future – but it was wrought with bad acting, namely from Jessica Biel and Juliane Moore. Nicolas Cage was a’ight, and it had a few decent moments here or there, but overall? Blah. The bad guys didn’t even seem like bad guys; they were just kinda there, and they certainly didn’t give me the feeling they were competent enough to truly pose the threat — trying to blow up a nuke — they were supposedly posing.

***

Last week’s So You Think You Can Dance (both episodes): The only new couple I thought did well both times out was Will and Katee, though I’m still not really a fan of either. I liked the old couples better, especially Gev and Courtney. And WTF is the deal w/ Comfort coming back for Jessica? I understand Jessica’s hurt, but Comfort is only okay as a hip hop dancer. And even then, she doesn’t really have any stunts or tricks or anything. I’d have had Comfort come back for just that week and not put the girls to a vote, and then resume voting for the girls this week. Instead, Kherington gets bounced and Comfort gets to stay in, even though Jessica will be on tour instead of Comfort? Screw that. I think Kherington was the only girl I really liked this year. Courtney’s hot, but she’s kinda blah. Also, my favorite of the guys — Gev – got bounced, too. He shoulda lasted at least one more week. Call me partial to the breakdancers, but I don’t care. I thought, for the most part, he did great with all the other stuff they threw his way. At least Twitch is still in. After that, I don’t really care. As a side note, Mia Michaels’ dance numbers are hit-and-miss for me. I either love them, or I have no clue whatsoever what she was trying to do. This week? No clue. I still think she’d probably be cool to hang out with, though.

***

USA Basketball: Road To Redemption: For some reason, really bad storms have hit the two nights this has aired so far – thus my satellite signal cutting out — so only 23 minutes of last night’s 30 minute episode were recorded. I watched that, but decided to finally getting around to watching the first installment of the series, which was a full hour. I had recorded a later replay of it off NBATV since when it originally aired on ESPN2, 40 minutes of it cut out because of storms. It was a good recap of the progression USA Basketball has taken to get to where it’s at now since the Dream Team was put together in ‘92 and just decimated everyone. I’m a huge sucker for behind-the-scenes sports footage, even if it’s nothing more than footage of LeBron James sleeping on the team plane, so the old footage of the Dream Team was great to see.

Reporter: What do you think about Angola?
Charles Barkley: I don’t know anything about Angola, but Angola’s in trouble.

Even though it’s edited and doesn’t include any of the really fun (and/or scandalous) behind-the-scenes stuff, it still is interesting to see how the current team has been put together, how they appear to be gelling on the court and off, and all the stuff they have to do, like the media blitz in New York they did.

***

Last Thursday’s My Boys: I don’t know why I watch this show. Okay, maybe I do: Jim Gaffigan’s funny, it’s sorta about sports (though less and less), and Jordana Spiro’s nothing to sneeze at. But on the other hand, the Mike character is annoying beyond belief, it’s less and less about sports, and some elements, including full plot threads (like Stephanie becoming a [sorta] famous author), are just unrealistic.

Having been a journalist, I just wanna know how PJ and Bobby have so much time to just sit around and do nothing. Journalism’s not a job; it’s a lifestyle. And if they’re real Cubs’ beat writers, why aren’t they ever on the road covering the team? I know it’s gotta be baseball season they’re showing us in the show. At the very least, having grown up in the Chicago area and knowing what the weather’s like, judging by their wardrobe, it certainly doesn’t appear to be the offseason.

I guess I just watch it to kill time? I don’t know. It’s only a half hour (21 min. without commercials), so what the heck. All I know is I don’t know about PJ getting w/ the wife-beater/wife-killer/child-abuser/drug-addicted guy from season 2 of 24. I’m sure he was all charming at first with the wife he ended up ultimately tossing in the trunk, too. PJ better make friends with Elisha Cuthbert and hope her boyfriend from that season grows his legs back so he can go Bruce Lee on that dude again, and/or so she can have her pops, Jack Bauer — via cell phone – guide her through putting two bullets in his chest again.

***

Lucky Number Slevin: I have no clue how this happened, but when I set this to record, I thought it was Smokin’ Aces. I just got the two confused somehow. Smokin’ Aces hasn’t hit my movie channels yet. But Lucky Number Slevin was quite a pleasant surprise. Not bad.

I have to say they tricked me with the switcharoo. I didn’t see Josh Hartnett actually being who he ended up being in the end. The fact his character had a made-up story in hand made it seem like he was who he was saying he was. It started out a little slow for me, but shortly in, the action and comedic dialogue and situations had me hooked all the way through the end. Lucy Liu’s presence as the love interest was also quite the pleasant treat, and I was legitimately pissed when Bruce Willis shot her later on.

I thought the movie was tied together quite nicely in the end and explained how all of the subplots related to each other.

***

That’s all. I told you I was on a DVR-watchin’ tear. I even still have a documentary I didn’t get to: Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price. At least I got the DVR cleaned out.

Hmmm… maybe I shoulda broke this post into chunks. It’s massive, all over the map, and contains about a zillion tags. My bad…

Explore posts in the same categories: Movies, TV

Tags: basketball, Highs In The 90s, Fuse, Fuse TV, The Boys and Girls Guide To Getting Down, The Truth About Cats And Dogs, Uma Thurman, Snoop Dogg, Janeane Garafolo, music videos, 90s music, drugs, alcohol, Next, Nicolas Cage, Juliane Moore, Jessica Biel, So You Think You Can Dance, USA Basketball, The Dream Team, Dream Team, My Boys, Jordana Spiro, Jim Gaffigan, Lucky Number Slevin, Josh Hartnett, Lucy Liu, Bruce Willis

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